A servant's heart

I never intended for this blog to be just about my trip to Thailand.  But, when I returned I struggled with what to write, since pretty much everything I thought about included thoughts on the trip.

In real life, I struggled with how to explain what had happened and what I was feeling.  To top it off, each day, I struggled to choose courage - let alone write about it.

So what caused this post?  Two weeks ago my father-in-law asked me to speak at his ABF hour about a servant's heart and how my idea of serving changed because of the trip to Thailand.


Afterwards, I thought, I need to share this - so here we are.

I hope that you learn something new, about yourself, about serving...

Many of us say that we serve.   We teach Sunday School, work with Children, take care of our church property, or provide Meals for those in need.  And we do.  I do – I lead our children’s team every Sunday morning, I take meals to families that need them, I do whatever my church asks.

This year – I re-learned what it means to serve.  A year ago,  I was approached by a member of my church – her words, well to be honest, they scared me.  “God told me to tell you about a trip I am taking….”   Over the next few weeks, as Lisa and I spoke, I researched, and I prayed – I knew God was telling me to go to Thailand with Lisa.  Once we made the decision, it was as if all of the little tugs, hints, and pushes were coming together to say “See, this is what I was trying to tell you.”

 

I couldn’t really picture how this would go and how it would change me.  In retrospect, I can see some very specific items that I would like to share with you.

1.           Don’t assume you know anyone’s story –
We met Nic (17), Jewel (16), and Bella.  We learned that for many of these girls, they were doing what was expected of them.  In their culture, their religion, it is up to the girls’ to support the family.  In anyway they can.  Yes, some of these girls may have been there voluntarily, but because they didn’t know of any other way.

Photo by Kristen Torres-Toro

Photo by Connie Rock

2.           You can understand their story-
     Bella, who was not the normal “skinny” girl from Thailand, pulled us into the outdoor bar she worked at.  Every night she would smile, encourage her co-workers and reach out.  Bella kept telling us, “You are Beautiful”.  She told one of the girls, “You understand, you are big and beautiful.  Like me.”   Part of Bella’s story was like many women I know – struggle with other’s perceptions of her body and her body image.

Photo by Kristen Torres-Toro

Even if you can’t directly relate to someone’s story – you are in that place for a reason.  You have a hurt or a victory that means you can understand their pain, if not the reason.

3.           Live missionally-
You never know when you will be given a chance to speak with someone.  We spent time in local restaurants, shops, and businesses.  We got to just talk to people.  Hear their stories.  Some had left the red light districts, some were working wherever they could to support their families. (Single moms supporting kids, young men and women supporting their parents.) Many with broken hears.
     
And, you never know where that conversation, that love will go.   How will it touch them? Will it help them come to know Jesus?  You don’t know.  That doesn’t mean you don’t tell them anyway.

When I returned I struggled with the same thing that many others have struggled with.  How do I take what I learned, what changed me and put it into practice?

First, it changed my mindset about how I was already serving.  I still serve in my church – I miss all my kids when I am not there ;)  But I no longer see it as a “have to” but a “get to”.  I am blessed to get to check-in and talk to 60 kids every week and their parents.  To touch their lives in that way.

Next, it reminded me of something – we aren’t called to just serve the church.  One of my friends calls it “serving the saved and blessing the blessed”.  And aren’t we?  Who did Jesus minister to? The church?

So, I started to search.  Each of us would have our own areas of service.  I was touched by the women in Thailand that I reached out to a women’s shelter in my hometown.  They have their own counselors and daily individuals – but their women need real life skills!

Have you thought what every day skills you have, that maybe you take for granted that someone else would not?

Last, I remembered to Live Missionally
1.           Every day I interact with people that I know – but do I take the time to get to know them? Their pain, their fears, their stuggles?  Do you?
2.           Every day I interact with people that I don’t know – waitresses, store clerks, other travelers, but do I take the time to get to know them or do I let fear get in the way.
3.           Do I let the fact that I may not see the outcome (will they turn to Christ or won’t they) keep me from reaching out?

Picture from Investingcaffeine.com

 

When we went to Thailand, our leader Connie kept saying – “Don’t expect to see a girl walk out of the bar life.”  In the best scenario, we would introduce the girl to one of the local partner organizations who are there full time.  She reminded us that in her 8 trips – she seldom even saw those girls again, so she, and we, would need to remember to leave it in God’s hands.

We have to treat many of our every day interactions the same way.  We may not know if and when someone turns to Christ – but that should not stop me from reaching out to them, from getting to know them, from sharing with them.

And sometimes, you just don’t know.  Remember Big and Beautiful Bella?   At the beginning of November, Connie sent the May team an email.  She was back in Bangkok and had walked into one of the local partner organizations.  She sent us a picture… of Bella, no longer working in the bar, but instead, learning a new skill.

 So, a question - what is your heart?

It has been a while....

It has been 6 weeks since I returned from Thailand.  And, while I never intended for this blog to be strictly about Thailand, that is where my mind has often been.

I often find myself remembering big things, like our nights spent in Patpong.

Photo courtesy of Connie Rock

The memories of the people that I met there remind me of a learning and growing time and friendships I will never forget.

Photo courtesy of Connie Rock

The places that we saw, the cultural differences remind me that we live in a melting pot.  Our own country is filled with many other peoples, some of different nationalities, some of different beliefs, but all of us different.  It amazes me that I needed to go to a different country to realize that.

In the last 2 months, I have had one overriding thought.  How do I live lessons learned in another place, half a world away, in my daily life?? 

First, I want to make sure that I am reaching out to everyone in my circle.  I love how Pastor Matt put it today.  "Accept Them, Affirm Them, Assist Them".  (You can hear more about it here.)  This needs to happen in my every day life.

Second, I am thinking about what I could be doing outside of my normal circle. 

I have some ideas, and you will hopefully hear about them soon.  In the meantime, I would love to hear how you reach out of your circle!

Do you spend time with the kids around you like my friend's J&J or A?
Do you reach out through the scouting program like my friend L?
Do you work with a local food pantry or help families in need?

If you do, please share - someone else might be looking for an opportunity!

Showing Strength

 

I called this post “Showing Strength”, and it is about two people I know who demonstrate Strength in unbelievable quantities. But it is also about Choosing Courage. These two people have chosen to go down certain paths, even though they had no idea what it would entail. (That’s Courage.) I've chosen to keep their names private as this is my outsider's view of their choice and not their own words.

Person #1 - She is an amazing mom (I am constantly wowed) and has faced some significant medical hurdles in the past several years. After undergoing surgery, and a painful recovery period, she tells me that the pain is still pretty bad.

What makes her strong to me is how she lives through the pain. She doesn't talk about it very much, even when I know she hurts and instead she concentrates on others. I watch how she throws herself into everything she can do for her kids. But I also see how she reaches out to others who may be hurting. She constantly speaks out about understanding others and working on relationships. I hear from others and see for myself how she stretches herself to meet others needs and help them when they need it. She is a quiet calm and a source of strength.

Person #2 - Is also an amazing mom, but also a very loving daughter. As many people know, needing to care for another family member can be an act of love, but also a somewhat draining experience. This lovely lady has given up her own plans for the foreseeable future to take care of someone else. I know that she is doing it out of love, but I also know that she is worn down and exhausted. Yet, she chooses each day to carry on, to choose courage. And in doing so, she shows strength.

Why do I share these stories? Well, in one way it's to honor these two women. In another, it's to remind myself of what I want to be when I grow up.  These women are images of Choosing Courage. 

Miss Pam

This morning I drove in Chicago rush hour traffic for the first time in a year.  The whole time I kept thinking, "Oh no!  Why me, this is awful!"

Then I thought about Miss Pam.  Miss Pam is a friend of the family who has had a difficult year.  After an pretty signficant accident she had to deal with many medical issues and hasn't been able to work.

So why does rush hour remind me of Miss Pam?  Because I was planning my pity party - but I have never heard Miss Pam say "Whoa is me" or "I can't believe this is happening"! 

Miss Pam CHOOSES Joy!  She is the epitomy of a joyful spirit.  Every time I see her she is reminding me about the things God is providing for her and sharing all of the things that make her day shine.

Once this all went through my head, I started thinking about choosing Joy. 

So, what did I have to be Joyful about this morning?   
    - I have a job! (The reason I was in rush hour traffic.)
    - I have a car that is fun to drive (hey, I have a car!)
    - The sun was shining!
    - I was given another day to CHOOSE JOY!


Tomorrow, join me.  When you catch yourself wondering "Why?", stop and Choose Joy! Be Thankful for what you do have and you will forget the Why!